Mall Walking..

Mall Walking…

One day, a week or two before Christmas we were in the mall. Sweetie and our daughter were actually buying stuff at Barnes and Noble. I got the traveling fever. Why not? I needed to exercise anyway. Off I go a wassailing or should I say, “a waddling?”  Anyway I went on a walk through the mall.

I like to watch people as I go. Some make me laugh to see what they wear in public. I saw one gal that I felt a bit sorry for. She was so very skinny that I knew for sure that if she left the building the breeze would likely carry her off to the next county. I didn’t know whether to ask if she had something heavy to carry to the car or to show her where to get a great chicken fried steak. You have seen folks that are no bigger than a minute? She was more like 45 seconds. Does she even know where the food court is? The most amazing thing in all of God’s creation is skinny people. How does He fit everything in there? 

There are a few stores that I wanted to go into. I always find my way into the knife store. Some of the knives are really big and bad. They even have some swords there too. I like the knives better. If I got one it would probably be a lock blade. I have always been told that a man should carry a pocketknife. You never know when you just might need to cut a string or a box. I have a couple of lock blades at home. The best thing about a lock blade is that if you are cutting something, the blade is locked open. That way it can’t fold up on you and cut a finger.

Back to my walk, I’m on the look out for the sporting goods store. It would be great to have a weight set. If we had the space, which would be the best? I would only get the things that are most practical and not the things that are extravagant. A bench with a bar rack would be great. I am not sure about the dumbbells but I am sure about the bar bells. Would an olympic bar and weights be over board? Where are the curl bars? Maybe a set of dumbbells would be good after all. The universal gym is still a cool thing. The problem is that I could very easily see the grandkids getting fingers stuck in it.

Lets see what else there is out there. Do I really need a new suit? Is it even worth talking myself into that? Me in a suit? Maybe if I was in better shape. Other wise I would look like a short, beardless Sebastian Cabot. Yes, a nice suit would look great but not on fat little me. Should I go back to look at the workout equipment?

Leather? I wonder if there is a leather store. I like leather jackets and vests. Deck me out in leather bur not leather britches! Well it would look better on a less than rotund paw paw. It would look as good on me as it would Archie Bunker as it would on me. That ain’t saying much, is it?

Comfort is just around the corner. I smell the food court in all of its splendor, fried chicken, Chinese food, PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! I don’t know where I would start but I have a good idea how I would end up. Where is that skinny lady?