Don't Judge Me

I went to the big shopping mall but it was mostly to see the sights. Don’t judge me because I’m old. Don’t judge me because of where I’m from. But I saw some strange things there. I thought you may like to hear about it.

In my walk, I passed the same mall cop several times. May as well be friendly so I would say, “hi” each time that I saw her.

Walking by a store that sold makeup, I just went on past. Then It dawned on me. The one I saw spraying face stuff on was actually a dude. He was a mixed up dude but a dude nonetheless. “Don’t be judgmental Paw Paw” I said to myself as I realized he was right behind me. It was a good thing he turned and I went straight. I wanted to turn back to see his strange clothes and made up face. I kept going. Don’t judge the old guy for freaking out just a little bit. That was new for me.

As I walked along, I started getting a bit thirsty. There was some store bought water in the car but that was not where I wanted to go just yet. I came upon a lady offering a tea sample. I don’t remember what kind of tea it was but it was tasty. The nice young lady had studs and piercings all over her face. Honest to truly I tried not to stare. She made me think of my mother’s pincushion in her sowing kit. This gal had holes in her face like big shoestring eyelets! “OK, Paw Paw here is another one to write about.”

There is a small playing area for little ones to play in. It helps them burn off energy and have some fun too. I was on the top floor looking down at the fun. One was on the slide. Another was on a climbing thing. Mothers were feeding  the babies. Three others were chasing around. Some kid was screaming to high heaven so I walked on.   

I almost lost my battle with the giggles when I saw a tall fat man who looked like his head was disproportionally small for his stature. He was a big big man with a very small head. He was one for Ripley alright. 

I heard Hall and Oaks singing over the mall’s PA as I veered to go into the sporting goods store. Funny, they are playing music from the seventies and eighties while every clothing store I passed was selling clothes for teenagers and college age folks. So with “Baby don’t hurt me” I went on in the sporting goods store.

Weight lifting is what I would like to get into. There are so many different things there for that. I picked up a thirty five pound kettle. Then I put it back before I dropped it on my foot. If I dropped that thing I would do a dance that would excite Nygel Lyithgo. I didn’t want to do that.

Walking on passed another crowd of folks, I heard a song playing “I can feel it coming to me every night.” With what I have been seeing that song took on a scary meaning. Malls are a loud place to be so I went into the parking lot to get away from the racket.

Out in the parking lot my head was still reverberating. “Where do you want to go now, PawPaw?” In the far distance I saw a furniture store. Man! Think of what I would do to refurnish the house! That would take money, whatever that it. There was so many nice things in there! If we had the money to fix the roof, the plumbing and electrical stuff in the house, this would be the next place to spend money. No! We need flooring first. I headed back to the mall after that quick visit.

  

With a mixture of excitement over what I was and depression over having no way to buy anything I went back to the mall It was a far walk from the furniture store back to Macy’s. I was almost run over by a young lady eating a candy bar while driving. It can be dangerous walking around out there. I walked into the parking garage. It was a bit spooky and mall cops were driving around looking for trouble makers. I could just hear something over the radio, “Clancy! Keep your eyes on that little fat grandpa warring a yellow sweat shirt!”  

With that levity, I went into the mall again. I passed a woman in a kiosk. She was watching TV.  Not a good sign. Looking over the great hoard I wondered how quickly I could clear the whole place if I was still working MLM.

I walked over four miles that day. My doctor would be so happy with me.